Marine Life Quotations

Fish

The Quippery

It is much better to eat little fish like sardines directly from the ocean, rather than after they have been filtered through a larger predator.
– Deep Sea News –

If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow
– Author Unknown –

The codfish lays ten thousand eggs,
The homely hen lays one;
The codfish never cackles,
To tell you when she’s done;
And so we scorn the codfish,
While the humble hen we prize;
Which only goes to show you,
That it pays to advertise.
– Author Unknown –

What do you call a fish without an eye?
A fsh.
– Author Unknown –

What side of a fish has the most scales?
The outside
– Author Unknown –

What’s the King of Russia’s favourite fish?
Tsardines
– Author Unknown –

Fishing

A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.
– Author Unknown –

A country church – people wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the two fish were trout or northern pike.
– Author Unknown –

Bait – Live Worms – Guaranteed to catch fish or die trying.
– Author Unknown –

“Carpe Diem” does not mean “fish of the day.”
– Author Unknown –

Bass fishermen watch Monday night football, drink beer, drive pickup trucks and prefer noisy women with big breasts. Trout fishermen watch MacNeil-Lehrer, drink white wine, drive foreign cars with passenger-side air bags and hardly think about women at all. This last characteristic may have something to do with the fact that trout fishermen spend most of the time immersed up to the thighs in ice-cold water.
– Author Unknown –

Everyone should believe in something; I believe I’ll go fishing.
– Henry David Thoreau –

Fishing is a quest for knowledge and wonder as much as a pursuit of fish; it is as much an acquaintance with beavers, dippers, and other fishermen as it is the challenge of catching trout.
– Paul Schullery –

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
– Zenna Schaffer –

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
– Author Unknown –

Good things come to those who bait.
– Author Unknown –

I came across a tribe of cannibals who’d been converted by Roman Catholic missionaries. Now, on Friday, they only eat fishermen.
– Max Kauffmann –

If I fished only to capture fish, my fishing trips would have ended long ago.
– Zane Grey –

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait.
– Jose Simon –

I think I fish, in part, because it’s an anti-social, bohemian business that, when gone about properly, puts you forever outside the mainstream culture without actually landing you in an institution.
– John Gierach –

It was always the biggest Fish I caught that got away.
– Eugene Field –

I used to like fishing because I thought it had some larger significance. Now I like fishing because it’s the one thing I can think of that probably doesn’t.
– John Gierach –

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
– Steven Wright –

Men and fish are alike. They both get into trouble when they open their mouths.
– Jimmy D. Moore –

One man’s fish is another man’s poisson.
– Author Unknown –

Question: What do fishermen and hypochondriacs have in common? Answer: They don’t really have to catch anything to be happy.
– Robert Orben –

Scholars have long known that fishing eventually turns men into philosophers. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to buy decent tackle on a philosopher’s salary.”
– Patrick McManus –

Sell a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach a man how to fish, you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.
– Karl Marx –

Some fisherman view catch-and-release salmon fishing in much the same light as drinking crème de menthe and showing an unnatural interest in soft furnishings. They know some chaps do it – but they would not want one marrying their daughter or putting up for the Club.
– Author Unknown –

The best way to a fisherman’s heart is through his fly.
– Author Unknown –

The fishing was good; it was the catching that was bad.
– A.K. Best –

There are two types of fisherman – those who fish for sport and those who fish for fish.
– Author Unknown –

Three-fourths of the Earth’s surface is water, and one-fourth is land. It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn.
– Chuck Clark –

Sharks

Interesting fact: a shark will only attack you if you’re wet.
– Sean Lock –

Sharks aren’t so bad. If a stranger came into my house wearing a speedo, I would probably attack him too.
– isfunny.net –

Sharks have been swimming the oceans unchallenged for thousands of years; chances are, the species that roams corporate waters will prove just as hardy.
– Eric Gelman –

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool.
– L.M. Boyd –

Other

I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered along the beaches around the world. Maybe you’ve seen it.
– Steven Wright –

It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons.
– Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy –

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
– Variance on a quote by Stephen Wright –

Whales

Dory: Okay, he either said, “move to the back of the throat,” or he “wants a root beer float”.
– Dory the Blue Tang fish, while inside the whales mouth in ‘Finding Nemo’ –

Fiction was invented the day Jonas arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.
– Gabriel Garcia Marquez –

…if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales?
– Charles Saatchi –

You can’t catch a whale in Oklahoma. There’s a law against it. You can’t catch a whale in North Dakota, either. No law, just no whales.
– Gus McLeavy –

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