Shopping and Spending Quotations

Advertising is what makes you think you longed all your life for something you’ve never heard of before.
– Author Unknown –

Forget about being world famous, it’s hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.
– Doug Coupland –

He had decided that if he ever returned to his old job he would create a special level of hell, an enormous inescapable shop of attractive but useless and overpriced items that the damned would wander for eternity in the cold delusion that this was what they wanted. And then Nerys had taken him to IKEA and Clovenhoof realised the humans had once again beaten him to it.
– Heide Goody, Clovenhoof –

If men liked shopping, they’d call it research.
-Cynthia Nelms –

If you’re going antique hunting, prepare yourself for some odd smells.
– Dee Ann Stewart –

I hate to shop. I consider it one of life’s necessary evils, like brussels sprouts and high-heeled shoes.
– Laurell K. Hamilton, Guilty Pleasures

I haven’t reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
– Ilie Nastase –

I rationalize shop. I buy a dress because I need change for gum.
– Rita Rudner –

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.
– Author Unknown –

It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to 10. They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
– M. Grundler –

It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.
– John Sinor –

It saddened me that sometimes shopping was far more perilous than dealing with zombies and vampires.
– Anton Strout, Dead Waters –

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.
– Author Unknown –

I was not prepared for the incredible variety of products available in American grocery stores. While on my first shopping trip, I saw powdered milk – you just add water, and you get milk. Then I saw powdered orange juice – you just add water, and you get orange juice and then I saw baby powder – I thought to myself, What a country!
– Yakov Smirnoff –

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, ‘Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.’ He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.’
– Steven Wright –

…most guys have about 73 calories of shopping energy, and once these calories are gone, they’re gone for the day – if not the week – and can’t be regenerated simply by having an Orange Julius at the Food Fair.
– Douglas Coupland, Microserfs –

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
– Erma Bombeck –

My motto is ‘Veni, vidi, Visa’ – We came, we saw, we went shopping.
– Sally Poplin –

No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
– H.L. Mencken –

Online shopping: because it’s frowned upon to be in a store with no bra, sweatpants and a glass of wine.
– Author Unknown –

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
– Author Unknown –

Overheard at Costco, as a boy pushed an over-flowing cart behind his mom: “Mom, we only brought the Jetta, you know!”
– Author Unknown –

Stores hire extra help for the holidays. This way, customers who don’t know what they want are helped by people who don’t know where it is!
– Author Unknown –

The grocery store is the great equalizer where mankind comes to grips with the facts of life like toilet tissue.
– Joseph Goldberg –

They came, they saw, they did a little shopping.
– Anonymous graffiti on the Berlin wall after travel restrictions were lifted and thousands of East Berliners flooded into West Berlin, Newsweek, December 4, 1989 –

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.
– Will Rogers –

Wal-mart… do they like, make walls there?
– Paris Hilton –

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
– Jose Batista, Burn, Baby, Burn! –

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.
– Bo Derek –

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